I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
