id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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