i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
