Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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