Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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