Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The Olympian is in my bed
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