Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
