McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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