you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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