very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
