My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
