Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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