it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
