there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
