You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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