i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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