were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
