here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
