He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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