I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize