Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
