WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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