going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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