If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
