Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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