help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
