need another drink. this is the easiest way
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize