Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
