saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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