Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
