I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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