I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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