You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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