Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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