How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.