How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea