I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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