I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
