and she was petting her beer can
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
