I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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