I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
a search helicopter?!
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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