I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
