He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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