SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
