i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
