worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
