Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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