you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
