yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
