You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
