You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
