I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
