i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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