You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The power of my boobs compel you
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
