so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
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