I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
