Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
