The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
