i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
