Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
