I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
